A Meeting

I met mat on the internets in 2003 after he stalked my pic and sent me a message. At first I ignored it, but I couldn’t stop laughing at the pic he had posted of him in high school, and then upon further lurking i saw the one where he’s lounging next to a pic of Lionel Ritchie while on tour. That was the kicker.

We met in person at the L&L tavern. I was there for a bit alone, and saw Mat walk up to the window. It was snowing out so all I can see was his little face peeking out of his hood as he stopped to check me out. Apparently, I wasn't a dud as he walked in with a goofy grin on his face. We talked over drinks for hours; it seemed neverending. I remember exactly what he was wearing; ben davis pants, slayer tshirt and a pukey colored coat with an amon amarth pin on it.

Afterwards, we headed off to Matsuya for sushi. Mat took my napkin and flicked it in the air to unfold it and placed it tenderly in my lap. I was like “really?” “does this happen in real life” “wtf who does this????” and I started to laugh (at him), which is exactly the response he was hoping for. I realized at that moment that this dude was for me.

We dreamed of puppies and kids together and always made our own traditions. We would punch cheese in our kitchen after rock shows, we've walked along the beach at night in the middle of winter every year in our own world, we’ve been to countless shows together, we made a home together, tons of brunching and shirtless walking (him, not me) with ice cream, we loved to spot “oddbodies” and report on them, there were lots of little road trips and big ones, i could go on forever...he was my best friend. More importantly, he was my biggest fan and I was his.

I really don’t know how to summarize the relationship that Mat and i had, except that no matter what life served us, we were bonded. Nothing seemed real unless i shared it with Mat, and now everything seems surreal because he’s gone.

One thing that I know is real is that Mat will always be my one true love.

Thank you, Mat, for loving me and being there for me at all times. Also, thank you for opening a million doors for me that never would have been opened. You are the reason I pushed myself to do things that I usually would not, including finally knowing who Amon Amarth is. I love you.